late night talking

we had one of those days...
that left me wondering if I will ever be the wife.mother.woman God desires for me to be.
the girls wouldn't nap again today...
but they did go to bed at 7:30pm
We're {grandma & grandpa} having a new well drilled...
it's loud, dirty and not really needed.
The van is fixed...
what a blessing, the van is fixed!
I really need to finish the girls birthday post.
We just signed the sale contract for our old home...
it was really hard.
It's good but bad at the same time...
it is for half of what we bought it for 10 years ago.
Trying to forget now...
on to something else.
Our spouted chickpeas are...
not sprouting yet {grin} 2 more days!
our bathtub IS always dirty...
and our vacuum is broken...
anyone recommend a good one?
We were just looking at old videos...
adorable little kids and big baby baby belly
...but wow I didn't realize how much weight I've put on and kept on since the girls
these past 2 years have really aged me.
Oh and seeing the house in the videos made me cry
...just one of those days I guess.
The boys said they loved school at our dinner talk
...that made me cry too {but in a happy way}
My heart wants more children
...but my mind and logic say NO WAY.
{that's a hard one to process}
The melted crayons went missing...
how to 15 big round crayons go missing?
good days and bad days...
I love my life
I love my family
I love teaching my children at home
I love living in the country
I love a good nights rest...
good night all!
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24 comments:

  1. Some so, so sweet, and some bittersweet... I love your late-night chats and always look forward to them. I'm pretty sure who you are RIGHT NOW, though, is who God intended you to be for right now... :) It's hard to be a work in progress to what you think you should be, though. Oh, I KNOW!! We'll all get there some day, some how... ;) Blessings, Kate

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  2. Carol in NC8/31/10, 6:14 AM

    I love what C.S. Lewis said about longings that can't seem to be filled:

    "If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."

    I've hung on to this quote throughout the years as a reminder not to get too attached to things, material at least, in this life. An abundant life can be lived no matter our situation. We sold our house too and as I've been packing up memories as well as 'stuff', I've wrestled somewhat with all the things I'd planned to do that never got done. Thankfully, God meets us where we are and works all thing for good!

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  3. My heart and mind so long for more children, but it's my husband that says "NO WAY"! I tried to tell him that the desire will always be there for me and once he lays eyes on a baby, he will agree he wanted more too; but he's not buying it. He's not budging, and it is a hard pill to swallow. I am so very grateful for the family I have and that I have been blessed with children....sometimes finding myself feeling greedy for wanting more....but the desire is undeniably there. I need to keep Carol's CS Lewis quote from the previous comment in my mind.

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  4. AdventureInBabywearing8/31/10, 7:44 AM

    Oh, did you check the toilet or garbage can for the crayons? Those are Ivy's favorite "hiding places." Miss you.

    Steph

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  5. We use Bissel 12 AMP around here. It is a cheaper vacuum ($50 or $60) but works great! We have dogs and it is the first vacuum that does not get clogged of dog hair. I used to buy the expensive ones but those always broke or clogged on me. I got mine at WalMart.

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  6. Hang in there! You are doing a great job as a wife, mother, teacher, and friend. Don't doubt that, even on your worst day.

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  7. As for the vacuum--we got our Dyson. After having hard times with hoovers and the like, we gave in a splurged on our dyson. We have four young kids and two dogs (who are big time shedders)--needless to say I have no buyers remorse! I love how well it sucks up all the dirt and dog hair. And I love being able to see my efforts.

    Sorry to hear about your house, but glad too, I guess. Maybe now that the whole things is over with, you can begin to heal and move one. As for the yearning for more babies, I'm worried about that point. I think it may come after I deliver this time around. I was told after my 4th delivery that I couldn't have more children or I ran the risk of becoming ill/possibly dying (the doctors thought I had ppcm, a heart condition related to pregnancy, but it turns out I didn't have that). But for the month where I was unaware of my true diagnoses, having another child was all I could think about. I cried several hundred tears that month before finding out I was misdiagnosed. I understand that feeling of wanting more, and I hope you are able to find peace with whatever decision is made :)

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  8. first of all...i second the bissel from wally's world... we've gone through a few of them, but when you have big boys who you rely in to "help" with chores...a broken vac. that only cost 50 dollars compared to 300 is not such a big deal. legos, socks, blocks,etc..they just beg to be vacuumed up...especially when my 8 yr old is the designated vacuum operator ;) maybe the crayons are in the vacuum.

    secondly. there are many time when your posts sound like something i could have written (in reverse) ...i grew up in washington state and now am trying to survive in new york...not the city, but the state...in a small city...but on 6 acres. (does that make sense?) anyway, your posts hit home.

    keep your chin up...enjoy the little things...each day is a gift. as hard as it may seem, God doesn't put more on our plate than we can handle. if He wants to bless you with more children, He will....and you'll be ready. i promise.

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  9. "I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful...Remain in me, and I wil lremain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:1-4

    You are being PRUNED my dear. Always easier said than done!!!! Sometimes, it just plain stinks sometimes when you're being pruned. You're keeping your head up though and God IS blessing you.

    Love from sunny Florida!!! :)

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  10. What a lovely affirmation from your boys. And I second the Dyson recommendation- I got mine on Woot for a steal, and it's the best on hard floors and carpet. Love it.

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  11. And these things shall all pass as well. :)

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  12. Спасибо большое Вам за Ваш блог и за возможность познакомится с Вашей семьей ;) С большим удовольствием Вас читаю ;) И смотрю фото ;)

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  13. I hope everyone takes the time to read the comments that have been left on this post. There are words there that spoke right.to.my.core. (not to mention that the vacuum recommendation was spot on) I bought a Dyson and it is worth every.single.penny. My rugs look like new again and the amount of fine dust and dirt that can be pulled out of the carpet is enough to cringe at the thought of not having one all along. Get the one with the ball and don't worry about getting the highest amount of suction. I have the original suction level and it's plenty powerful.

    Thinking of you!

    Carrie

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  14. The dyson IS worth every penny. And you ARE a good mom, even though you may not have felt that way yesterday. You're kids are so happy and that says everything about YOU. Sometimes the desires of our heart are not necessarily what is best for us. You are very wise to listen to your mind also. I encourage you to continue to keep them in prayer and I believe god will either answer them, or take the desire away. He's pretty cool like that.

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  15. You, your life, your family, everything in it is so real and I appreciate you for putting it all out on the fence.
    Thanks for making my life seem normal as well....and I don't have twins or live on a farm, etc...... :)

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  16. MikeandKatie19/1/10, 5:06 AM

    that is one dirty tub! you almost need an outdoor tub by the door to scrub off the first layer of dirt before they even get in the house. Can you send me the link to that baby wearing neck lace you have?

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  17. I always love your honesty, Brittany. Sending big hugs your way for the rough times and laughing and smiling with you during the good times :-D

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  18. DandyBelle9/2/10, 7:08 AM

    Shark Navigator ... Is just as amazing as a Dyson, but half the price!

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  19. LifeAsWeKnowIt9/2/10, 3:08 PM

    I sure hope you don't find those crayons in your dryer, 'cause I"m not there to clean it out for you again! xoxo

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  20. Life is funny, isn't it? We are certainly promised nothing. But we should be thankful in EVERYTHING! Thank you for that reminder!
    Stefanie in NY
    www.krebskids.blogspot.com

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  21. Oh Momma, we all have those days. Signing the house contract though, I can imagine how hard that was for you. As for the no naps, the dirty bath tub, and the melting crayons --- (hugs). :)
    And a vacuum recommendation: My mom-in-law and a few friends of hers recommended the upright Bissel to me, because it's inexpensive ($70 I think?) but it works GREAT. :)

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  22. Haven't met a person yet who regretted having another child. However, I have met PLENTY who have regretted not having more :)

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  23. Don't be discouraged... you will be the wife, mother and woman God wants you to be! You already are a princess in his site whom he has called and chosen. You already are in right relationship with God through Christ Jesus and God is pleased with the faith you have put in Him. Remember, He who began a good work in you will not stop working in you until it is complete! What a hope and joy we can have to know that God is always working in us and will never stop. Keep pressing on... God is with you and is changing you even if you don't realize it!

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  24. My heart goes out to you! It's so tough trying to be everything your family needs all at one time. However, you are just what God designed you to be and I'm sure HE's smiling upon you!
    On a side note get a Dyson they are the best. We have a refurbished one and I love it!! Wow, I just admitted to loving my vacuum but hey I do! :) I hope your crayins aren't in the dryer... you'll have very colorful clothing then.

    Also , I was just wondering if you could share what homeschooling books you are using. We are starting homeschool in a few monthsand are looking at our options.

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Thank you for blessing me with your words!

Brittany