random thoughts of moving on...

It's been nearly 4 weeks since I sat down at the computer, 
I didn't miss it much.
Just the little bits....
connecting, sharing, blogging.

life doesn't stop...
it just keeps going.
cooking, laundry, school, praying, laughing, playing, cleaning, sleeping
I'm thankful for that.

I feel peaceful about the loss of our baby.
God was merciful and loving,
that I am sure of.

The girls still ask about the baby.
They don't fully understand.
They say "it's not growing right now, but God will make it grow soon"
sigh.

Now that it's out there that we wanted a baby
...we're hearing how some people really feel about it.
and that hurts, a lot.
Especially when it feels like a threat.
All I want is to live the life God has planned for us,
not my will but his be done.

Vance is still mending.
We go back to the dr. again today,
hopefully to hear good news.
We've cut out nearly all grain, sugar & hard to digest foods.
I'm detoxing from chocolate. {grin}

We're planning our big winter RV trip.
8,000 miles on the charted map so far.
Everyone is dreaming big,
and I LOVE it.

I will be doing photography shoots along the way.
I'll post information soon.
It's not the purpose of the trip,
but I'm excited for it to be a part of our journey.
I LOVED meeting so many of you on our last trip.
...and really enjoyed seeing your Christmas cards. {grin}

Christmas cards. sigh.
I still haven't sent ours out.
I need to rewrite part of the letter...
the part where we announced our family was growing.

Thank you SO MUCH for all of your love
...your words, prayers, thoughts & hugs
have been such a blessing.
This world may be filled with pain and tears
but it's also full of love & kindness too.
And for that, I am thankful.

It wasn't a planned blogging break,
but I guess it's officially over now...
and it's good to be back!





33 comments:

  1. Sharonclarkb1/11/12, 12:39 PM

    I know people's comments can hurt, whether they are meant to be that or not. You continue to keep your thoughts at heart. You are totally right in thinking of HIs will, and NO other's. A large family IS a blessing. Especially as your children are coming into this world in a loving and nurturing home. Brought up to Love God. I continue to pray for you all. HOpe the Appt goes well today. Looking forward to hearing about good news for you very soon!

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  2. I am so heartbroken for you, Brittany, and can't imagine people saying negative things to you, especially right now.  You are a thoughtful, loving, God-fearing lady, and I pray that God protects your heart from those who would hurt you. 

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  3. Welcome back and I'll keep praying for your family.

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  4. children raised in a Godly home by Godly parents are our hope & future.ignore the nay-sayers and focus on Him!praying for you as you continue to heal emotionally & physically.

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  5. Continuing prayers for your family.

    A funny thing happened with your last post. I never, NEVER want all the comments sent to my email box. But this last time, they all came, and kept coming. As they popped up and I deleted them, after all they are for you!, I was reminded to pray and keep praying. I love how God uses mistakes like that to keep me accountable for my promised prayers.

    I didn't know you were RVing again! That is so fun. Praying Vance continues to get well so there are  complications while you are out and about!

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  6. So glad to hear that Vance is doing better. Your life is yours and no one else should tell you what to do with it! Can't wait to see pictures from your trip. Enjoy your family. 

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  7. Briana Runde1/11/12, 1:34 PM

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby! I guess I haven't stopped over here much, because I didn't know. I will be praying for your family. 

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  8. Good to hear your "voice"....been thinking about you and the family a whole lot.  So glad to hear about Vance...I hope you continue to hear good news and he continues to heal fully.  Looking forward to your photos...(I always am). :)

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  9. I am glad you are back. Why are people so mean about large families?  Sheesh, we wanted a large one, too but God stopped it all at three boys.  His Will, not my will and we've accepted it.  I am glad things are getting back in the 'swing' for you and that you are healing.

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  10. Elaynehaven1/11/12, 3:23 PM

    That's terrible that people are saying hurtful things about your growing family. It's no one's right to tell someone what to do with their bodies. God gave us the ability to reproduce. I am so sorry about your loss. I have followed your blog on and off for the past three years. I found it when I was pregnant with my twin girls. They are two and a half now, but had a very traumatic birth from being born early at 28 weeks gestation. Although the circumstances are different, almost losing my children gave me such a new perspective on life and death and the pain of losing a child. My heart goes out to you and I hope you and your family find comfort with each other and on your trip.

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  11. Ashley Cook1/11/12, 4:28 PM

    If YOU want to have babies and GOD blesses you with babies... nobody has the right to say anything.  I think you are fabulous, your kids are truly a beautiful delight... with such adorable genes... how could you say no to more beauties?? ;)  

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  12. Jaclyn Polhamus1/11/12, 6:10 PM

    We had 7 children at the time of my miscarriage a little over a year ago. It was painful telling the kids and explaining to the younger ones over and over again... Then came the comments, "Well, you ALREADY have 7..." And that was one of the nicer ones that I got... I know how hurtful they can be. I will be praying for you and your family. Oh, and we just had baby number 8, six weeks ago. :) Blessings, Jac

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  13. Wonderful to see you back. I am sorry that you have received less than comforting comments. I remember 20 yrs ago, when an older lady told me that she didn't know what to say to a mutual friend who had miscarried. I told her that she should tell the friend that she was sorry for her loss. Many times, folks don't know what to say because they came from a time or family where miscarriages were never discussed. A loss of a child is devastating, no matter when it happens. Gentle Hugs, Beckie

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  14. Good to hear from you again! I'm glad life is finding its way back to normal. I missed your updates but know the need to heal and put yourself first. I have no idea what anyone could ever say but, "I'm sorry." Hateful morons, ignore them. Sometimes it seems if there is some angry mob of blog stalkers whose job it is to write nasty notes. Welcome back!!

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  15. Glad you are back and healing. So sorry to hear of negative comments. You are such a wonderful mom, loving her family and raising blessings according to Him. Keep on His path. If you make it in your rv to western Washington we would love to meet you. You can drink goats milk here, eat pastured eggs and all kinds of yummy food. Stay strong.

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  16. wait what!? ur pregnant?! ive been keeping up with ur blog britt, but havent had a chance to comment, praying for u!

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  17. I'm sorry for your loss.  No matter how a loss happens, it always hurts.  I pray you find miraculous healing in God's time :)

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  18. just know that i am thinking of all of you... and you are in my prayers

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  19. I'm glad you're "back". I was worried about you -- it's not like you to go so long without blogging and I kept coming back multiple times a day hoping you'd pop something out there! I continue to pray for you and your family to heal, grow from this experience and pray yourselves for the people with hurtful thoughts directed towards you. You're a good person! Take care of yourself.

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  20. you've been in my thoughts and prayers! living in God's will is the highest calling, He loves families and I have no doubt yours pleases Him. Have fun on your trip and I hope we meet some day, I'm only about 3 1/2 hrs from you.  Candice

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  21. Stephanie Precourt1/12/12, 10:21 AM

    I've been thinking about you so much. I really do hope you pass through here to say hi when you're on your trip!


    Steph

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  22. You've really been missed. So sorry for your loss… I don't think people mean to be cruel. In trying to encourage, I know I've stuck my foot in my mouth on more than one occasion! How fun to be road tripping. I know you'll have a blast.
    Hugs to you while you continue to mend. So thankful you're back, Brittany!

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  23. Oh Brittany I know when other people have forgotten about your loss, you still think about it all of the time, I'm sure.  We need to plan a fun day soon!

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  24. People can be so hurtful when they don't think before they speak!  I'm going through a similar situation-just the opposite.  We have one perfectly healthy child but don't know if we'll have any more because I have an auto-immune disease and the pregnancy wreaked havoc on my body :(

    I'll be praying for you and know that there are so many people that support you and whatever decision you decide to make :)

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  25. Ugh! I am so sorry people are hurtful when you share the news. I can imagine: "Be happy about the kids you have." "It was meant to be." "Aren't you busy enough?" Awful. I heard those things and more. People don't think. 

    8,000 miles!? Love it and can't wait to follow your adventures. 

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  26. I have never commented before, but I love reading your blog! I am so sorry for the loss of your child...you have a wonderful family...-angie in NC

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  27. Sending you and your family healing thoughts and hugs. I enjoy and appreciate your posts. Your blog is beautiful. Thank you. 

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  28. Jessica Jetter1/12/12, 6:22 PM

    I am so sorry about your loss :(. As a mom of 4 (two biological, 2 by custody/adoption) we are planning our 5th baby and people are so mean and rude. It's a baby not a evil monster! I don't understand people! Big hugs to you!

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  29. Ugggg that's so hard. I have had so many people be so rude to me about wanting a third:/ I'm so sorry about the loss of your sweet baby.

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  30. Abbey Robertson1/12/12, 10:44 PM

    I'm so glad that you are back, I love reading your blog!  I'm so sorry for your loss... I can not imagine what it is like and on top of it, please feeling the need to say inappropriate things to you about your family size!  While a large family is not for everyone but who are they to say it's not for you!  It's a good day around here if I'm showered and we all have on clean clothes :)

    If the Lord is leading you and your hubby to keep having babes, do it!  Don't let those lies that people tell you get into your heart... they are not from our Maker!  So keep serving that good looking family of yours and loving on your husband and remember to sit down and take care of yourself!

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  31. Ester Brocha1/13/12, 8:00 AM

    How wonderful that people think they can plan your life for you! WTH is wrong with them? If your family thinks that this is a good time for a child, everyone else should zip their lips.
    I have three kids, and most of my friends that are in the same stage of life (have kids of similar ages as mine) have four and some are expecting a fifth. I likely would have also liked another baby by now, but having a child with special needs threw a wrench into my ideas.
    It's your life! Thumb your nose at all those rude people.

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  32. Courtney 77821/13/12, 10:35 PM

    My heart feels sad for you. I can't imagine having that kind of experience. I'ts amazing how fast we fall in love with our babies. I'm excited for you to take another big trip. I have dreamed of the very same thing for so long. I hope you have an amazing time. If you find your selves in Texas I would be excited to know. 

    Love,
    Courtney

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  33. sixcrazychildren1/14/12, 8:59 PM

    I know what it's like to have negative comments about having a large family & wanting to add to it. Just this morning at nippers as I was buying some 'on sale' swimmers ready for next season...... someone asked me why I was buying so much. I said because I have four young boys that need swimmers, rash shirts and racing singlets...... they said "FOUR! you have four boys?"... so of course I smiled and said "no, I actually have five boys and one girl plus three step children...... two boys and a girl." The response was "you are insane"......


    so long as your heart is smiling who cares what others think. I'm still so sorry about the loss of your baby. XX

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Thank you for blessing me with your words!

Brittany