life and death

2 months ago
...I praised God for the miracle of life,
And clenched my eyes shut as we waited.
And then I smiled and laughed and danced with joy...

There was a miracle growing inside of me...
And I wanted to holler it from the rooftop
...but we waited.

 I saw a baby in my arms...
 part of our family
...a new brother or sister
...loved like he was always here.

 All looked fine.

 I could vision a baby
 ...being held by his big brothers
...loved on by big sisters
...sleeping in my arms
...gazing at his daddy

 On Christmas we told the children,
with a scavenger hunt and scrambled words.
Ozzie yelled "awesome"
... the big boys grinned from ear to ear.
The girls giggled and smiled...
And told us how they were going hold the baby
 ...and give her kisses.

 We started sharing the news with family
 ...we were going to have a baby this summer.
Due on my husbands birthday.
I would be 12 weeks today.

 2 days ago I was told those words no mother wants to hear
..."your baby stopped growing last week".

 What did I do....
Did I get too close to the xrays and ct-scans?
Was I too stressed at the hospital?
I was getting enough nutrients, wasn't I?
What did I do wrong?

 Everything had felt so right
 ...my husband and I both felt God's call to add to our family.
We thought we might be done...
 but God had put the desire in both of our hearts.

 I never thought it would end this way.

 Yesterday I went into labor...
 My body contracted,
My water broke,
I delivered a 10 week baby
and a placenta with a little umbilical cord.
It was the worst labor of my life.
(I might share the story...not sure)

 Today I'm thanking God for the miracle of life
 and I look at my six beautiful blessings
... And think life is amazing.

 ....but it still hurts like heck.

 Thanks for letting me share,
 For hearing my heart
 ...and loving our family.

 There is so much pain in this world...
 A world filled with heartache and loss
 ...tears and confusion.

 Lean on God with me,
He loves, he gives, he sees you.
 he brings peace that passes understanding.
And i am so grateful for that.

138 comments:

  1. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I am glad your family had the opportunity to celebrate the life of your little in heaven, before hearing news of the loss. I will be praying for you and your entire family.

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  2. Praying for you and your family. I have never lost a baby in the womb, but can only imagine the heartache that you are feeling. Gentle hugs. 

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  3. Britney, I am so sorry. Your experience sounds a lot like my experience last year in December. I did not expect it to feel like labor, but just like you, my water broke, contractions. Worst labor - in that there was a lot of pain, and no warm baby at the end. I am so sorry for your loss. So very, very sorry.

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  4. melissa rosado12/30/11, 9:34 PM

    I am so sorry.  Having just went through this myself the day after Thanksgiving... I know that I am sorry are the best words to say.  I hope you will share the story as I have gained so much from writing about my experience on my blog.  Hang in there :)

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  5. Brittany, I wish I had comforting words but I don't. If I were there, I would give you a hug and cry with you. 

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  6. Oh my goodness. there are no words. what a difficult time. truly. I've been praying for your family and will continue. You have been through so much...yes you are blessed...but certainly there is a grieving process. I don't know the right things to say. I will be praying. sending a virtual hug but I'd prefer to give a real one.

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  7. HUGS and TEARS for you friend!  Had no idea you went into labor too...:(

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  8. Hugs to you...Its hard when you tell the kids and then have to tell them that the baby has gone on to heaven...ive been in your shoes before and only time and God can heal you.. WIll be prayin for you and your family. God works in mysterious ways..I lost my baby and three months later found out I was having twins.

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  9. I'm so sorry for your awful loss :(
    Praying for you as you walk this difficult road...

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  10. Angelina Denver12/30/11, 10:17 PM

    I am so sorry for your heartbreak.  I will pray that the God of the universe will grant you peace and comfort during these very hard days.  Lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus to care for your and Spirit will prop you up.

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  11. im so sorry.

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  12. So sorry...

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  13. so very sorry for your loss... you and your family will be in my prayers. I am sure it's difficult for your children as well, this loss of life and of the hopes and dreams you all had for the baby.  

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  14. Brittany and family, I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you all in my prayers.

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  15. my heart breaks for your loss... I'm so sorry. 

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  16. Theresa and Ashley Baby Cake12/30/11, 10:57 PM

    I am so sorry. Praying...

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  17. I am so so sorry!  Love & peace to you and your family!

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  18. Courtney 778212/30/11, 11:00 PM

    Poor Mama. Sorry you all are having such a rough time. May you find peace. Love to your whole family.
    Courtney

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  19. so sorry for your loss... will be praying for you and your family during this difficult time.

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  20. Kate@ SuroundedbyPenises12/30/11, 11:01 PM

    Thinking of you :( Your girls will make wonderful big sisters one day! And your boys are pros :)

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  21. I'm so so sorry :(  I'm praying for you and your husband tonight...and your sweet littles. 

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  22. So, so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you all. 

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  23. Brittany Albert12/30/11, 11:15 PM

    so sorry for your loss.  Sending prayers for you and your family.  

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  24. I’m so sorry…I’ll be praying for ya’ll. I miscarried our first sweet baby girl, nine years ago this month. God has blessed us with four precious munchkins and I have all five names on a necklace…our older two talk about Sarah Grace and tell complete strangers that they’ll get to see their big sister in heaven with Jesus one day. God does bring peace that passes all understanding and I’m very thankful for that too.

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  25. "God works for the good of those who love him, 
    should we receive good and not expect pain? 
    strip away all our earthly desires, 
    Lord fit us for your kingdom, we pray,
    when we can't see in the black of the night, shall not the judge of the whole earth do right?transform us through the sufferings of christ, make your sovereign will our delight. we can't understand, the wisdom of his plan,none can stay his hand, his purposes shall stand!trust in the one who does all things well, trust in his nail-scarred hands."{copyright} SH. *my mom wrote this song after she miscarried our baby. I pray these words will soothe and comfort you. God is with you, and he is for you. Feeling your pain and sorrow and praying for you as you grieve through this precious loss, much love, emily

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  26. I am so sorry Brittany! My prayers are with you now.

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  27. So so sorry for you! Praying so hard for the comfort only Jesus can give you all.

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  28.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I went through almost the exact same thing during my first pregnancy (right about the same number of weeks, too), so I truly understand the heartache.  I pray for your comfort, healing, and peace through this.

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  29. I am sorry, I lurk and read my feed reader (all your posts) but don''t comment very often.   My heart is so sad for you.    I hope this means you will still ad to your beautiful family.  (I LOVE big families.. lol).    You guys have had such a rough time here in the last little bit and I hate it for you :( I really hope that you share the birth story, both to give yourself an outlet, and for us to rejoice (and grieve with you) as the Lord gives... and takes away.  Praying for peace. 

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  30. Oh! I also meant to add you didn't do one.single.thing wrong.   It was NOT your fault, or the stress, or the hospital.   I know several friends that have actually had a ct and xray THEMSELVES while pregnant... although it is not ideal, it is by no means responsible for the baby not making it.  Terminations at this point are often due to some genetic anomaly that cannot be overcame by the fetus (baby!) as it progresses to more advanced "life building" in the second trimester. 

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  31. I'm so sorry.  I will be keeping you in my prayers. 

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  32. omg :( so sorry!

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  33. I read often, rarely comment, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss.

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  34. I'm so sorry!  I lost a baby to a heart defect at one month old.  Such a sad thing.  Truly her life AND death have brought great things to our family!  God bless your family!

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  35. I'm so sorry. I ache for you.

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  36. I am so very sorry!  I will pray for your kiddos as well as you and your husband as you all deal with the loss of the baby.  :-(

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  37. (Hug) I lost two babies not meant for this earth, and it never gets easier. I wish you peace. 

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  38. Brittany, I am so very sorry to read this.  My heart is aching for you and your sweet family.  Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    The last two sentences of this post are absolutely beautiful.  They touched me deeply.  The fact that you are able to reach out to others during this difficult time shows what a beautiful heart you have.

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  39. MckSkeptical12/31/11, 2:59 AM

    I am so sorry. I haven't been reading your blog for very long, but your family brings me such joy. You do not grieve alone. In July I suffered my first miscarriage at 12 weeks and the emotional toll was enough to knock both my husband and myself off our feet. The pain of labor was excruciating; the salt in the wound being nothing to show for it in the end. I will be praying for you and grieving with you, also. Jesus is healer.

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  40. I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and your family. My first daughter was stillborn almost 5 yrs ago--I know the pain all too well. Praying peace over all of you.

    "...Blessed be Your name
    On the road marked with suffering
    Though there's pain in the offering
    Blessed be Your name

    Every blessing You pour out
    I'll turn back to praise
    And when the darkness closes in, Lord
    Still I will say

    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your name
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your glorious name...

    You give and take away
    You give and take away
    My heart will choose to say, Lord
    Blessed be Your name..."

    We may never understand the "why's" or get over the pain...BUT our hearts still choose to praise. And in that, lies victory.

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  41. I feel your pain. I should have been about 12 weeks pregnant too, but I miscarried 1 month ago. My heart still aches sometimes and I miss my precious baby.
    God bless you and comfort you and your family!

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  42. Sharonclarkb12/31/11, 5:48 AM

    I am So sorry for your loss Brittany!
    I too suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks, and as you, it was by far THE most painful labor. It is SO hard. I also lost a daughter the day of her birth, unexpectantly from a bacteria she contracted during labor. And I had another miscarriage in September. Loosing a child, no other mother can understand unless they have gone through it. 
    I am So sorry you have had to suffer this loss as well. Pamper yourself, name the baby. Your children will continue to love and cherish and talk to their sibling. Mine look forward to seeing all of theirs in heaven. It helps to not make death not so scary to talk about.
    Prayers for you all!
    Sharon

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  43. I am so sorry. It's a terrible loss at anytime but given what you had just endured in worry...oy.

    I too have had miscarriages, 5 of them to get one perfect daughter. My time is over but will pray for you to heal beautifully and and to once again add to your beautiful family.

    I'm so sorry. It just sucks.

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  44. Greeneyes251712/31/11, 7:15 AM

    Hi Brittany.  I read your blog often and admire you and your parenting.  I am so sorry about your loss.  I had a miscarriage earlier this year and there is nothing more devastating then losing a baby that you wanted so much.  I will pray for you and your family.  Stay strong.
    Michelle

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  45. My heart aches for you and your family... Continue to lean on God and may His arms wrap around you and hold you all tightly. Praying for you... ((HUGS))

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  46. My heart goes out to you and your family.  May the Lord bring comfort and peace as you trust Him.  Keep on hugging the in-house blessings :)

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  47. Melissa Siena12/31/11, 7:51 AM

    My husband and I lost our first baby at 9 weeks after 18 months of infertility. It is a loss I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I am so sorry for your pain. I am praying for you and your family as you grieve the loss of this little angel. 

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  48. i pray for your loss. i too have been there (twice) and i always hated that feeling of "i wonder" (was it a boy or a girl? what would that child have been like?) and my heart ached to know.

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  49. I'm so sorry. Lifting you and your family up in prayer!

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  50. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry for the loss of your little one. Continue to lean on the Lord. {{{{HUGS}}}

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  51. I am so sorry. I have two precious little babies in heaven - it is hard. I often wonder who they would have looked like, boys or girls... Praying for healing for you and your family.

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  52. Kinsey Friedrichs12/31/11, 9:57 AM

    Praying for your family and your sweet baby. 

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  53. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I've gone through a miscarriage at 9 weeks. It was the worst experience of my life. Praying for you and the family. Glad to hear you are leaning on God through this.

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  54. May our Father comfort you in an incredible way during this time of loss.

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  55. Praying for you - I miscarried too at 10 weeks, precious little baby with little hands, arms, feet and head..... 

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  56. I am so sorry for your incredible loss. I too had a miscarriage and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. Please know that you did absolutely nothing to cause this. In this imperfect world we live in, the loss of a baby is all too common. You will probably be surprised by how many people have also gone through it. I know I was. I pray that God will sustain your broken heart and that He will fill you empty arms. Blessings.

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  57. So, so sad to read this.  Praying for you and your sweet family!!

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  58. I am so sorry....if I could I would give you a long hug....and then feed your family....and clean your bathroom....because that is the only way I know to offer any comfort....there are no words....believe me....I know....

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  59. Oh, I am so sorry.  I couldn't even comment last night- just had to go to bed and have a cry for you.  Praying for your comfort.

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  60. Stephanie Precourt12/31/11, 12:41 PM

    Oh my God Brittany I am so sorry. Praying.


    Steph

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  61. I'm so sorry to hear that. :( 

    Nev

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  62. I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I wish they could give you a reason why it happened.  I'm sure it is nothing you did or didn't do.  I know you are so very grateful to have 6 happy and healthy children....you are blessed indeed.  As you grieve the loss of your precious baby know that many people understand and have been where you are today.   It does get easier with time, though.  I know you find that hard to believe right now.....but, it will get better. 

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  63. crying tears for you today.  sending prayers and hugs.  you will meet that baby in Heaven someday, i'm a firm believer of that. 

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  64. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I miscarried my first at 4 months, and it was terrible. I hate thinking of anyone else going through deliveries like that. Thankfully, I have since had two (mostly) healthy pregnancies that resulted in healthy babies, and I'm 26 weeks pregnant with our third. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

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  65. Bergerondozen12/31/11, 3:39 PM

    I lost a baby December 10, 2001. I was 14 weeks pregnant. I am so sorry. 

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  66. I am so incredibly sorry for you and your family.  Wish there was something else to be said, hoping for peace for you, though you always seem to find ways to not get buried under the bad and sad in this life, so really I just hope that trait carries you through.  Blessings and love to you and yours.

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  67. I am so so sorry! I have been praying for you all day! 

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  68. I'm really sad to read this.  You have a beautiful family and now a little soul in Heaven praying for all of you. We lost a baby to miscarriage, Elizabeth.  A very difficult time for us.  Not everyone will understand but God does.  Your baby was created for Heaven and did not have to endure the suffering of this world.  Someday you will rejoice together in Heaven.  You were made to be this little baby's mother just as you were for all the others.  You cooperated in the creation of a little soul and there was no mistake or fault...this was the plan all along.

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  69. Oh, I'm so sorry. So, so sorry for your loss of your precious baby. Words can't even express....

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  70. Praying for you Brittany....praying for the peace that only God can provide!

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  71. So, so sorry my friend. Our last miscarriage was so insanely hard...I know what you're feeling. Praying for you, girl.

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  72. I am so sorry. 

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  73. I am sorry for your loss and heartache.

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  74. oh how i know how you feel. i miscarried in october, i was 8 weeks. it has been the hardest thing to go through. time will help but it's not easy. still so hard... praying for you tonight.

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  75. My heart hurts for what you are all going thru right now. I, too, had the same thing happen. I am so sorry and will be praying for healing. 

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  76. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  Praying for God's peace now in your life.

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  77. I was so sorry to hear this.  Thinking of you and your family.

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  78. I am SO sorry sweet girl. Remember He is big and He loves big. Lean on Him. Lean on your family. Know that many people are praying for you. 

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  79. Salt in Suburbia1/1/12, 10:37 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  80. I'm so very sorry.  Praying for you all.

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  81. Such a sad story, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  82. Oh friend. I never, ever want any new women to be welcomed into this club...you know I understand how you are feeling and what you are going through. I ache for you right now, but rejoice that you are aware of your blessings that are here with you. It doesn't take away the pain of a loss, but it does help ease it some. I will be praying for your healing--both physically and emotionally. If you want to talk, I'm happy to lend an ear. Love to you, Britt.

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  83. I'm so, so sorry. May you be comforted by God's promises to us.

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  84. Too many of us know this pain precious mama. Praying for you and yours from the heart of experience. xoxo

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  85. Praying for you and your family as you grieve this significant loss. Praising God that He is God of all comfort and draws you, your husband and each of your loved ones near to tend to the hearts as only he can. Praying for wisdom and grace as you help your children walk this road.

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  86. Prayers to you and your family.

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  87. My heart is hurting for you. Your precious little one is looking down on the rest of your family in the comforts and presence of the Lord. You will meet again. Praying for your family. 

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  88. My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family through this difficult time.  Sending love and light to your family!

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  89. Praying for all of you, Brittany. So sorry for your loss.

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  90. Abbey Robertson1/2/12, 2:25 PM

    I can not imagine, I'm so sorry!

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  91. so sorry to hear/read this.  you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

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  92. heatheritstwinsanity1/2/12, 7:33 PM

    Praying for you...

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  93. I was saddened to read this :'(  Give your hubby/kiddos a hug each day & it will help ease the pain for everybody.  God is good all the time and all the time God is good. 

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  94. Helenjgeorge1/2/12, 8:33 PM

    I am so very sorry. I miscarried twins at 11 weeks and I still think about how much I loved and wanted those babies every day.

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  95. I am so sorry to hear this and will be praying for you and your family.  I also lost a baby at 9 1/2 weeks. :(

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  96. Grangehall1/2/12, 9:28 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm praying that God holds you and your family in his healing hands.

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  97. I'm so sorry for you and yours. Your angel was too beautiful for Earth. God has a plan and even though this aspect of it is trying and so painful, He has a plan for your family and for you, Brittany. I'll be praying for you and your family. Kiss and hug those wonderful children of yours every day; I hope it will help ease your pain.

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  98. bookworm_12131/3/12, 12:03 AM

    Sorry for y'alls loss. Praying for you and your family.

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  99. Brittany I am so so sorry! I am praying for you guys as you mourn the loss of your sweet baby! 
    Vanessa 

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  100. praying for you and your family at this time...you live life so beautifully.

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  101. My heart aches for you. I lost a sweet babe a mere 8 months ago and my heart is still aching. I'll pray for you and your family.

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  102. Brittany Cardenas1/3/12, 1:03 PM

    I am so sorry. I myself had a miscariage in April at 11 weeks. Ended up being a Partial Molar Pregnancy, 2 babies but 1 turns into a mole and starves the 2nd one. I feel your pain. I also came to realize we need to appreciate and be thankful for the beautiful loving children we have. I will pray for your family in these hard times.

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  103. Jennifer McKinney1/4/12, 1:18 AM

    Oh, Britt, I am so, so sorry. Crying with you and missing your sweet babe with you all tonight. Thank you for sharing so that we might be able to shower you with love and prayers. I'm so sorry. 

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  104. I am so sorry, Brittany. I understand your pain and heartbreak. I'll be praying for you and your family. May you feel God's peace during this time.

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  105. I completely understand how you're feeling right now. I suffered a miscarriage at 11 weeks and it was the most horrifying, painful thing I've ever been through. I still struggle with guilt over the fact that I was beyond stressed out and scared since it was an unplanned pregnancy, and still feel like I caused it to happen.  Sending you hugs of understanding.  

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  106. ddhighfill1/4/12, 2:07 PM

    i am so sorry for your loss! i had a miscarriage august 11, 2011 and totally understand thinking "if only i had done this or that differently". i have had to learn to thank God for the life that was inside of me, even if it was only for a short time. i pray for peace for you and your family at this time.

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  107. Dang it.

    I'm feeling your heart and I've been there.

    We'll be praying for you.

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  108. So sorry for your loss.

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  109. I am so sorry:( I have been there 5 times. I know it is hard!! I am praying for you and your family!!

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  110. :(  So so so so sorry.  I'd say something to make it better if I could, but...time will pull you through it.

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  111. Praying for you.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I had a very similar experience in August when my 9 week pregnancy ended with a baby with no heart beat.  I can still see the last U/S picture every time I close my eyes.  God will get you through.

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  112. I am so very sorry for your loss.  Praying for you. May God give you comfort.

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  113. Karen Schenck1/6/12, 8:44 AM

    I am so sorry. I stopped by to see how the holidays were for your sweet family. Did not expect this at all. God bless you and comfort you.

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  114. I am so, so sorry. The pain is sharp and it fades but never completely goes away. When I had my first miscarriage, I found out at a 12 week ultrasound. My baby had been gone for a couple of weeks, too. And I replayed what I had done. Eaten. Said. Thought. I wondered what moment it was when he or she slipped away, unbeknownst to me. Did I know on some level? Thoughts like this haunted me for a long time. 

    That was nearly 7 years ago and I still think about it. I've had 3 more children and 3 more miscarriages, not in that order. 

    My heart goes out to you and your family. I know your kids are hurting, too. That's one thing about having a big family ~ they know exactly what they are missing when mama loses a baby. It's a loss for all. We take comfort in our belief we will meet those brothers/sisters in heaven someday. 

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  115. Oh no!  I am SO SO SO sorry!  I have been reading your blog since shortly after the girls were born and for some reason I just kept waiting because I was sure that you all would eventually add one more.  I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now.  While it won't help much, know that I will be praying for you along with so many more.

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  116. I am so sorry and sad to hear of the loss of your baby.  I will pray for peace for you and your family as well.  Thank you for sharing your story.

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  117. So, so sorry for your loss.  I've been through two miscarriages similar to what you've described.  After 5 labors they were definitely the worst.  I think it's due to the idea of losing rather than a typical labor where we're "gaining" a baby.  My friend called them babies born into heaven.  I'm sure yours will deepen your life as mine did.  It gave me a new appreciation for those children I have and also some empathy for many who have gone through this type of loss.  Sure I was always sad for my friends who had a miscarriage but until I walked in those footsteps I could never truly understand.  Praying for you and your family.  He gives and takes away, blessed be His name.

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  118. sixcrazychildren1/6/12, 3:31 PM

    oh my dear friend........ my heart breaks for you. Truly it does. We suffered similarly last year as I was desperate to have another child too......we almost got there too but it was not meant to be and my heart broke in two despite my blessings around me. I am still sad that for me there really will be no more. I hope you take your time recovering emotionally..... and physically. What an awful time for you. I'm so sorry and sad for you. You are in my thoughts XX

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  119. Oh, Brittany. So very, very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. It's so very, very sad. Thinking of you and holding you in prayer. That baby will always be a part of you and there will be such rejoicing the day you meet him/her.

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  120. I'm so sorry for your loss.  God bless you and your family.

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  121. Keisha Cupcake1/7/12, 11:30 PM

    I am so very sorry for your loss. You are not alone. 

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  122. Jjprohaska1/8/12, 6:26 PM

    I've been reading your blog for years and this is the first time I've commented but I feel "led" so here goes: Losing a baby hurts so badly, allow yourself the tears, the pain, the grief, and time. When I lost my last baby I already had seven healthy children. NOBODY got it, not even my husband. It was just as difficult as it was the first time I found out I was pregnant and was then told I wasn't pregnant or I miscarried. IT HURT just as badly. Yes, you have been blessed in many ways and yes, you will almost certainly have one or more precious children but allow yourself the time and the stages.... and I wish I could hug you and cry with you.

    You and your family are beautiful inside and out. You are a talented writer and I enjoy reading your blog. May God continue to bless you.....................

    jennifer

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  123. I've been reading your blog since you were pregnant with your girls. My name is Brittany and my husband's name is Paul too. We've lost 4 babies to miscarriage. It's awful. We have had 3 miracle babies (not at once) and are so thankful to be blessed with them. Going through the labor and birth of our loss (I had 3 surgically removed after my body wouldn't expel them on their own.) was the WORST and so so hard. I'll be praying for you as you physically and emotionally recover. Many hugs to you.

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  124. I am so sorry.  And yet I praise Jesus for that little baby, that short life,  This past summer I was with my daughter when she miscarried her 3rd baby (2nd miscarried, and a thriving toddler).  It was born in the bag of water (and a hard, hard, at home birth) and we took the time to look it over ever so closely and be in awe at HIS creation.  Within a short time (days) God placed such joy in our hearts that we were blessed with those eight weeks and we learned so much about joy through that time.. and theye named their baby JOY!  Praying you find comfort and joy in His loving arms as you walk this hard raod.  Love and Prayers, Kerri

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  125. I wanted to add..his is the blog post she wrote right after Joy went Home... http://likemamalikedaughter.blogspot.com/2011/08/bring-rain.html

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  126. Rachelhalcombe1/9/12, 3:18 PM

    Praying for your family..... Rachel and Eliza (twins from MI)

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  127. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious little one.

    I've been there, too.  The book, Safe in the Arms of God, was a healing balm to us.

    Prayers and hugs

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  128. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Prayers and hugs coming your way today.

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  129. Shannon Atkins1/10/12, 7:45 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for peace for your family. Losing a child at any age is hard to say the least. We had an ectopic pregnancy very early in pregnancy, but it was still very difficult to deal with. God brought us through it although there are not many days I don't think about our baby. Only God can bring the peace you need and understanding, lean unto Him. 

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  130. Praying for you and your family....so sorry to hear this sad news....especially having known the pain of losing a baby. These tears are for you sister.....and for every other mama who has lost a little one. I wrote an In Memory Of post last year.....there is a  passage of Scripture that my husband and I clung to in Romans. God is good.
    http://4littlelovies.blogspot.com/2011/04/rememberingapril-20-2002.htm 

    Much Love - Lisa (mama to 4 in Indiana)

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  131. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Praying for healing and peace for you and your sweet family today.

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  132. so sorry. {hugs}

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  133. You are such an inspiration for sharing your story. You have a beautiful family and I believe your family will and can expand when the time is right. Maybe with all that has been going on, your body said that it wasn't the right time. Your post brought a tear to my eye. Maybe from the heartache I feel and probably from my own pregnancy hormones. Either way, things will look up. Stay positive and keep taking pictures!

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  134. I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss Brittany.  So, so sorry... :( 

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  135. I'm sorry.  I hope that everyday that goes by you'll feel more peace and comfort. It's so hard to understand the whys sometimes. I just don't know what people do without God to lean on.
    Hugs,
    Aleah

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  136. Tiarastantrums2/6/12, 7:43 PM

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear this! Miscarriage is NEVER easy! Most don't understand. Just keep praying and mourn the loss. I've had five miscarriages and have been blessed with three amazing babies. My heart will always want more babies, but God has given me what I need most.

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Thank you for blessing me with your words!

Brittany