let's clear things up

One of the things I can't stand about email, blogging, written communication, is that you sometimes have a hard time getting the true feelings across. Interpretation can be different to different people.

With that said.... I want to make sure that some of the things I said are clearly understood.

I WAS annoyed that we were at the hospital, I would much rather that my daughter WASN'T sick and didn't NEED to be in the hospital receiving oxygen. But I did not disagree that she NEEDED the oxygen. The nose tube was annoying but NEEDED.

I DO NOT think the staff was there to torture my daughter or any other kids... that is completely absurd. Most of the staff is there because they LOVE children and WANT to help them. There are a few hard and callused ones, but that happens in any profession. What I said was torture was the alarms that kept going off every few minutes that would startle, the babies and myself every time I began to nod off. It was like an alarm clock that went crazy. That WAS torture... not the staff... the inability to get any sleep because of being continually startled by a sudden noise.

The crying, screaming, hollering children were REAL, they were sad and upset, they were sick, they were in need. And I never implied that they were being tortured on purpose. Although, one could say that the poking and prodding {necessary or not} is torture to a little child and their parent. I DO believe that the staff was taking care of all of the children the best they could.

And as for the IV... IF my daughter truly need it... she would have had it. I would NEVER deny my child care that is needed. NEVER! I am NOT a doctor but I do have common sense and I ask questions... it WAS concluded by myself, my husband AND the nurse that Nolia did NOT need an IV. Some nurses just do what is protocol, for many reasons, I'm not going to get into that. So we had one nurse who said she had to be on an IV and once I calmly asked questions and presented my side of why I believed that she did not need an IV she checked with another RN who agreed that she did not need an IV. I did not turn down any tests, they did not ask to do anything, it was an answered prayer. They did an XRay of her chest and that was it.

As for all the people who were there to check out my daughter in the ER... it WAS annoying. It was one person after the other. And some of them were rude, and doing the exact same thing as the person 2 minutes before them. BUT i know it was a learning hospital and I do appreciate their interest in caring for my daughter. I was only stating that I was annoyed. Sometimes necessary things in life are annoying!

Breastfeeding IS what is best BUT if my daughter wasn't able to nurse well, because she couldn't breath {which wasn't the case} or if she was too sick to nurse or any other reason I would not have forced her to be only breastfed.

I was never mean to any of the staff, I never accused them of doing anything wrong. I asked questions, to learn, to understand and to help my daughter. THEY did go to school for this... not me and I know that.

The best thing that any of us can do is to educate ourselves, ask questions, have faith, be kind & pray! Doctors, nurses, and all of the staff ARE there to help, but it is our job to be our own or our childs advocate. To know, to understand and to work together with the staff.

Now I hope that clears a few things up! And thank you for those of you who left a comment, even in disagreement, without being attacking or hateful.

ahhhhhh.... now off to post the Random picture Challenge!


  1. good grief!

    don't ya just love blog drama?

    have a great valentines day!

  2. I'm sorry that people would think you wanted anything but the best for your daughters. I took your original post to mean that you were being an advocate for Nolia because she is obviously too little to speak up for herself. To me your recollections about the hospital were right on. Of course it is annoying and loud and disruptive, and of course the staff is there to help and heal and comfort the patients. After following you for a few weeks there isn't any doubt in my mind that you are a caring, dedicated mother who would always do what you think is best for all of your children.

    I'm so happy that Nolia is feeling better and praying the Eliza is on the mend as well.

  3. Some people take these words too seriously. As a mom I read that post and felt what you felt. We want what is best for our children... and you are allowed to speak your mind.. why do people demand you agree with their thoughts at all times.

  4. I don't see how a couple/few people read into your last post and pulled so much negativity from it!!

    All I read was concern
    and wanting to just sleep away from the hospital noises ; )

  5. Wow, I read this post before I read your update post. Then, I read your update post- looking for offensive wording, etc., since this post responded to it.

    I honestly could find none. And I was going into it looking for it! I've never commented on here before but I have to say I truly think you presented your frustrations and fears and thoughts, you never said that you "attacked" the nurses, you just asked them questions, and we all know that if an IV had truly been needed they would have put it in.

    Lastly, your entire paragraph where you speak of being grateful, etc., and then you ask for prayers for the children and families and doctors- lady I couldn't find anything offensive in that post. I think a lot of the medical profession has been treated very VERY badly by unnecessarily suspicious and combative parents, and so that sparks their reaction when they feel they are being maligned. It's an understood reaction- my mother's best friend is a nurse, and they way her patients treat her sometimes is shameful. But regardless of how badly we may have been treated by our patients, or regardless of how badly we may have been treated by medical professionals, we have to step out of that and take it case by case. I think you did just that. I'm glad everything worked out well!

  6. /sigh/ I'm sorry that you had to clarify. I understood what you were saying.

  7. When I read your 'Oh Dear...My Little Girls' post, all I heard was a very worried, exhausted and loving mother.
    A mother who was describing a very harrowing experience from the perspective of a mother.

  8. Brittany, please don't feel like you have to justify your own writing on your own blog. I wrote a post early on in my blogging called "No Apologies." I have to apologize and justify everywhere else in my life -- I refuse to do it on my blog.

    You are the mama to six amazing and beautiful and healthy children. Your posts reflect how thoughtful, thorough, and rational your parenting is. Nothing in that post said anything different.

    I have had a child in a teaching hospital, and it IS annoying when 15 12-year-old doctors come in to do the same exam and ask the same questions over and over while you are anxious about your sick child. I once had to ask a gaggle of them if they wished to stay to see me change my 2 year old's diaper while body fluids oozed out of every orefice (rotavirus). They scampered out of the room!

    I would have had the same concerns over the IV and the breastfeeding -- I never pumped either.

    From now on, let people say whatever they want to. Who cares? I think that the majority of your readers get you and get what you were going through -- and we give you the benefit of the doubt. You are an AWESOME mama and I learn from you.

    You were clear the first time you wrote it. Just let it go.

    Love, Mama

  9. So sorry for the negative comments...that is one of the reasons I considered whether "to blog or not to blog". Ultimately I decided that the positive outways the possible negative. I have loved getting to know your family and you did a great job communicating mother's love!

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  11. Sorry some took your post the wrong way. Caring for sick babies is just DIFFICULT on all involved, but a mother will always be a baby's best advocate.

    I have a special needs sister and admire all the times my Mom has fought for what is best for HER, and now I must do that with my babies in Bolivia, because if not me, then who? Hospital staff are great but do not have the same perspective we do and it can (not always) turn into a "job", whereas our kids are our life!

    Praying that all your kids are healthy and well SOON. =)

  12. Oh dear, your little girls...
    Thanks for sharing your REAL thoughts about the hospital. I'm a nurse and I too feel like that's the last place I would EVER want to go! It's hard enough to be wisked away unexpectedly to a foreign land and then be bombarded with "visitors" on top of that.
    I worked in a teaching hospital with resident doctors. They were a fun bunch but sometimes totally unaware of their patients! Sometimes they were more about going about their business and showing off for their proctor than trying to connect with the ones they were examining. I had to stop
    and remind several of them what doctoring was all about. Most of them took it well, not realizing how they were coming across. Even now I have co-workers who should have been road workers instead of care givers. I'll pray that you
    find caring, compassionate docs and nurses. We're out there! :)

  13. I hate that you felt like you had to defend your actions. it is obvious through your blog that you only want what is best for your all of your children. keep pressing on, hold your head high, and know that you are encouragement to many who read your blog. Know that the Lord is using you, and Satan hates that. But through the Lord you will prevail!

  14. Brittany, I think you are such a rad mommy and anyone that is a regular reader knows what you stand for and what you believe in. I could have written that exact same post because I feel the exact same way you do. You are doing a great job!

    I hope the girlies are feeling better!


  15. There was nothing wrong with your last post. I have learned thru experiences with my kids that you have to advocate for your child and ask questions. You were right on and are entitled to your feelings. If anyone has a problem with it, they don't need to read your blog! I ran into a similar problem when my daughter was in the hospital and they didn't want me to nurse her, they wanted to give her sugar water. Wow, that's nutritious! I spoke with her nurses and Dr and eventually they said OK. You are the mom, you do what you feel is right!

  16. So glad you are back home and all well. You have to stand up for your daughter because no one else will. You have to do what is best for all your kids and I am glad they finally let your keep the other baby there too. Don't worry about what others thought or said. They cannot know what you went through or how you were feeling. I found nothing wrong or improperly implied in the last post, just supermom getting through a rough patch!

  17. Brittany - I was clued in on the last post. Never doubted it! In fact, I was really impressed that you pushed to breastfeed, instead of just opting for the IV because it's protocol. I don't know if I'd have had to guts to do it - I cave quickly in a hospital. Good for you! :) And so glad Nolia's home!

  18. Brittany, so glad you are home and doing well. I don't know if I have commented before but I enjoy your blog and admire you in caring for your husband and 6 beautiful children. I wonder why anyone would read your blog if they didn't like what you had to write about! My heart went out to you and I could relate as I spent last Mon night with my 1yr old in the ER with complete idiots for nurses and drs. Those are my words, not yours! It is what it is! :) Keep on truckin, you are a great mom!

  19. I'm sorry you felt the need to explain yourself to those who think they know everything. You and your husband were the only ones that needed to be concerned of what was taking place with your daughter. Always remember that it is easier for people to judge from the sidelines and take everything out of context. You have much better things to do than try to pacifiy the stupidity of others who think they are perfect. The only perfect person on this earth was Jesus Christ. We thank Him for holding all of you close during this difficult time. We pray that your girls continue to regain their health and that your boys would remain healthy also. In our prayers.

    A mother of 30 years with plenty of experience of people thinking they know it all.

  20. savedbygrace2/14/09, 2:48 PM

    I read the above comments & the comments to the previous post. and to anonymous - The people that commented were by no means "judging" - just sharing what they believe in & their view point (that is what the comment section is for) (they were not harsh or mean), and to say "the stupidity of others who think they are perfect" - ouch. That is a little harsh. I was an RN (before children) & made plenty of mistakes - I am human, but as a mother - I have made plenty MORE! It is by God's grace & strength that I can arise to the challenge of motherhood. I am thankful that God forgives my faults.

    No one is perfect - & I highly doubt that any of the people who comment would even suggest that they were... or that they "know everything" -

    I respect you Brittany for clarifying your thoughts. Of course on your blog it is not "necessary", but I commend you never the less. I prayed for Nolia, the minute I heard she was sick & continue to ask for her complete healing.

    May all we SAY and do bring Glory to God!

  21. Hi Brittany... First I want to say that from reading your blog for a while now, I don't think have that you have a mean bone in your body. Having said that, I did feel that your post came off sounding a little negative, but since I truly believe it was written by an anxious stressed-out mom I didn't give it a second thought. You have obviously hit a nerve with the professionals who work in hospitals, though. As an elementary-school teacher, I can tell you that some professions seem to be fair game to the public, and if it was taken personally... well that's how it would sound to a nurse or doctor. If you had been writing in that vein about your children's teachers, I would have commented myself. I hear that kind of talk all the time, am hearing it now as we wrap up negotiations on a new contract. I hope you understand that I am writing this asking you to consider what you would have felt if you were a nurse or a doctor reading that post... and you might understand the backlash. I love your blog, and enjoy keeping up with your pictures and adventures! I pray for the health of all your children, and am so happy that you're all back home together. Have a wonderful week, God bless.


  22. I never doubted what you meant by the last post. I totally got it. I think anyone that has been reading your blog for any amount of time would have known what you meant.
    I also got what you meant about the constant stream of people. Teaching hospitals are nuts. ;)

  23. As a NICU nurse that has taken care of many, many babies and as a mother, you did the right thing by asking questions. You are right that alarms are torture (so are unnecessary procedures!). You are right that sometimes unnecessary procedures are done. As a medical professional and as a mother, I am proud of you. It's not easy having a sick baby or taking care of a sick baby, making sure they ONLY get the least invasive, best care!
    You have a beautiful family. I'll also pray none of the other children get sick!

  24. I think what people forget is that blogs are personal. They are not newspapers. Bloggers have no responsibility to write politically correct things. A personal blog is for one's personal feelings -- whether they are sensitive or not to others' feelings. Brittany expressed the anxiety and the frustrations a lot of us have felt in that kind of situation. I'm sure somewhere there is a blogging nurse complaining about her pain in the behind mom of a baby patient. Brittany's feelings and anxieties were not wrong just because they weren't PC.

  25. Britt,

    I'm still shocked by the nurse who claimed she/hospital stall know your baby better than you ever will. Imagine that. You gave birth to them, mother them, but the hospital staff know them better.

    I know how deeply you and the rest of us mothers sincerely appreciate and thank God that we have access to good medical care and for all those who serve in the medical field.

    It was clear to me, and it seems like to most of us, that you were letting out all the stress of the sleeplessness, the panic, the crying, and the fear out in your blog post, which you have every right to do. I'm so sorry you have people attacking you for letting that out.

    Just wanted to put my two cents of support in there for ya. :) So relived the girls are okayl.

  26. I just want to say, from a mom who is currently sitting in the PICU with her 6 month old baby who has croup, that I totally agree with everything in your last post. Being so close to the almost exact same situation, I totally understand. Colin has an IV for his medications because the oral ones weren't working, he is being monitored, and the same questions do start to get slightly annoying after the 20th time. :) All of this coming from an RN herself. I hope the girls are doing better every minute! And shame on your hospital for not working with you better to keep your bf babies with you! Being a mom gives you strength and tenacity you didn't even know you had!

  27. So glad Nolia is doing better. I've had my share of ER visits with my son and the croup...which he still gets at the ripe old age of 5 1/2! We went by ambulance a couple of months ago because of it. As a mother I have also felt the need to question choices made by doctors regarding the care of my children. I KNOW MY CHILDREN. When my son was taken by ambulance I knew that if an i.v. could be avoided then he shouldn't get it because I was the one who sat in the recovery room with him after hie first two surgeries to put tubes in his ears. The first one he also had adenoids removed. The second set he had his tonsils removed. I spent 40 minutes of trying to keep my VERY strong child from ripping the i.v. out of his arm. The second time I was 4 months pregnant at the time. They would not remove the i.v. until he drank something and he wouldn't drink anything until it came out! I knew it was bad when they took me back to the recovery room after the surgery (both times) and they were giving him a breathing treatment because he had gotten so agitated.

    I understood why he needed it at the time and why they said they couldn't take it out but they ended up taking it out anyway because he kept fighting so hard and it was making his breathing worse. When my sister's kids got their tubes...without and i.v. ...I asked our dr. about it when Max was going for the THIRD set of tubes. He said they could take it out before he woke up...UGH...wish I had known that before! SO, since I have experienced this with my son before...and I KNOW my son...I knew how he would be if they put in an i.v. SO BEING AN ADVOCATE FOR MY CHILD...I informed the EMS personnel and asked that if it wasn't ABSOLUTELY necessary to please not do it. They informed the hospital and Max was able to get a shot instead of the i.v.

    When your child is in distress...you do everything you can to make sure that you know what is happening with their treatment so that you are informed...so if...heaven forbid...it happened again you can let the dr.'s know what was done previously.
    By the way...I love our pediatrician but I was the one who had to call his office and say that I wanted a referral to an ENT after 2 years of ear infections, runny noses that went on forever, mouth breathing so bad that he had to stop chewing food to get a breath, loud snoring, and then moments at night when he would stop breathing before he would rouse himself awake then go back to sleep. I asked the pedi constantly about his adenoids and tonsils (which were normally huge...without infection) and he kept telling me to wait and he would grow out it when he was 2. At almost 3 I had had enough and put my foot down. The first app't with the ENT I told him Max's history and he said the adenoids needed to come out. Since those and the tonsils have been removed his breathing has been so much better.

    All the doctors say different things sometimes so how do we know who is right? How do we know who to trust with one of THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE in our lives? We ask, we question, we challenge. We are not doubting that the doctors and nurses know their jobs and what they are doing, just as they should not doubt that WE the parents, know our children better than anyone. It is scary and we feel alone and we are protecting our children from any unnecessary hurt apart from what they already have.

    So sorry Brittany that this happened to you and SO SORRY this is such a long comment. To hear people attacking you for being a worried mom and voicing your frustration over a situation on your own blog is crazy. As a elementary school teacher (before I chose to stay home) I have heard horrible stories and teacher bashing. What I say to those people, rather than lash out at them, is that I am very sorry that their experience with so and so teacher was so bad and that I hope they know that it isn't the norm.

    - Staci

  28. Brittany,
    I read all of the previous comments and your "Oh Dear...My Little Girls". What I saw was an anxious stressed out mom with a little one in the hospital and as an RN I didn't take it personally.

    I think that many readers read into you being upset and in turn posted things that really were not flattering or were hurtful to those in my profession and that is what people that were upset reacted to, not you. Things like "Unnecessary tests are done so that insurance companies get more money" "I understand there are bad apples in every profession" and "You have much better things to do than try to pacifiy the stupidity of others who think they are perfect (which btw I didn't see in any of the posters who were upset unless you count the bizarre "maybe you should bottle feed" which was ridiculous).

    I believe that you have every right to write what you want on your blog and you don't have to censor it or water it down. I do think though that when you allow comments to your blog you can't guarantee that everyone is going to agree with you or be happy about what was written. Your choices seem to be: not apologize and just ignore the furor (after all you know what you meant), or edit people's comments and only allow the ones that have been approved by you.

    Regardless, I am glad that Nolia is back home where she belongs and that her sister continues to improve too. My prayers are with you,

  29. Hi Brittany, I am so glad that Nolia & Eliza are on the mend. I come over to your blog several times a week though don't often get the opportunity to comment. I appreciate your natural viewpoints and how in love with your kids you are...I have many of the same views.

    I have to be honest, however...while I did not comment the other day, I did get the impression that you believed the docs/nurses were exaggerating Nolia's need for medical attn and that you weren't happy with the care and beleived she wasn't sick enough to be there. I totally get that this is YOUR blog and you don't need to rationalize your thoughts to ANYONE so I don't at all want my comment to come across that I'm ridiculing you or judging you as a mommy at all...you are a great mommy and many of your decisions are decisions I've also made for my daughter since even before her birth. I just wanted to let you know from a "real reader" that I did get some of those same impressions.

    I am not trying to be snarky or mean and I hope hope I am not coming across that way...just letting you know that you cleared up A LOT for me. :-)

  30. whats the big deal. People were not attacking you, just expressing their opinion as well. Let it go

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  32. Hello gorgeous girl!

    I am so glad that Nolia is doing better, I have four babies of my own and have spent many a horrid night in the hospital with them - tired, hungry and stressed to the max, feeling sick with worry and confusion... (Thank the Lord mine are all at the grown up stage now - woo-hoo :)!)

    I just love your blog and I think YOU are wonderful, I remember how tired I was ALL THE TIME when my kids were younger and I didn't even have twins!! - you to me seem like a bit of a super-mom, and such a sweet, loving one at that. I just want to give you one little bit of advice (oooh, I swore I would never say that to anyone after all the advice I have received over the years!) but hear me out, please just ignore the comments of people who go under the guise of Anonymous. If what they say is so important they can at least do you the SIMPLE courtesy of leaving you a link. Even if they don't blog they can link to any kind of site - flickr, facebood, myspace, etsy, whatever, I think it is rude to go to someone's blog (home!) and criticize them and then leave, having caused completely unnecessary stress. Rude, rude rude!! (I am saying this in my loudest, clearest fake British accent ;)!) I read your blog all of the time I kind of feel like I know you - you are a kind, protective mother who is so in love with her family - I totally knew where you were coming from - you don't need to explain yourself Brittany, Just keep being who you are, we love you for it!! Take care sweet girl and try and get some rest, you have had a long week!
    My prayers are still going for you and the girls, and of course for all of the children who are ill, our God is faithful above all and will send his blessings to them, this I know!!

    God bless you all
    much love
    xoxoxox smooshy kisses for those gorgeous babies!... and perhaps one for that too-cute hubby ;)!

  33. I don't think I've ever commented before, but I just wanted to say that – having spent 24 hours in the hospital with my 15 month old a couple of months ago – I completely understood everything you said. I don't think you were being ungrateful or anything else. It is HARD to be in the hospital with a baby (let alone two!).

    You did a great job clearing things up in this post, but I don't think it should have been necessary!

  34. Brittany, I'm so glad all is well now.
    Best to you ! Hugs. :)

  35. Oh, how I love your bolg !!! I am a mom who had a very sick child 3 years ago and spent weeks in the hospital and I so agree with you!! I was blessed to be at a hospital where parents are valued.
    Please disregard people whoes comments are rude and thoughtless.I can pretty much assure you they have not walked in your shoes!
    Your family is beautiful and I am happy to hear that your precious baby girls are on the mend! Thank the good Lord!

  36. First, didn't know you were going through this, so sorry I've been out of it but SO glad to hear all is well now.

    Second, it's sad that people feel the need to be negative for no reason than to prove a point. You are such a sweetheart, why anyone would be anything but supportive with all that you're going through is just beyond me.

  37. It is awful that you have to defend your feeling on YOUR blog. I think that is ridiculous.

    I am glad the girls are feeling better!

    I wish we were friends in real life and I could have helped in some way!


  38. it's a little button by where people leave their comments called "DELETE" and it totally works....trust me, I've used it ;-)

    (and if it's an e-mail it's an even better button that says "TRASH" - and that's exactly what it is ;-)

  39. I was thinking about leaving a comment on your original post, but am glad I took a step back to consider my words. It's very interesting to read through the comments and hear the different interpretions of your post about this whole experience.

    First, I want to say how truly thankful I am that your precious girls are doing well and recovered so quickly! I've been praying for them and am so grateful they were able to come home after only one night. Being a mom to a son with asthma, I don't think there's anything more frightening than seeing your child struggling to breath. It's truly the scariest thing I've ever faced as a Mom!

    The other piece of the puzzle is that I'm also an RN who has watched children arrive in our trauma unit with RSV who haven't recovered so quickly or so well. I think that the comments that came from other nurses reflect the experiences that we've had with this devastating virus and we would want other parents to realize that this is nothing to take lightly. I agree that we, as parents, absolutely need to advocate for our children and we truly know them better than anyone else. That being said, there are situations that truly call for the experience of others who dedicate their lives to knowing how to care for little ones.

    I can see both perspectives, and I'm glad that you allowed this conversation to happen on your blog!

    Wishing you and your family many blessings!

  40. oh, it is so hard to say exactly what our hearts want to say within the confines of little ol words!

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  42. When I read your post, I felt I knew EXACTLY what you were saying...anyone who has had a baby/child in the ER and/or admitted KNOWS! The babies and kids crying all night...totally WRONG...someone, ANYONE, should be holding them, helping them...if not their parents, a nurse or aide. I totally understood your stress...you are an excellent!!! proactive advocate for your child, which, as a mother, is your job. You have an absolute right to question everything, especially in a teaching hospital. Don't apologize or feel the need to explain your experience or opinion...I'd much rather have nurses, doctors, ANYONE upset with me, instead of just being complacent, when it comes to my own children and their comfort, health and happiness. Hope you never have an experience like that again!

  43. I hope the girls are feeling better very soon. I am sorry that some things were said (I did not read the comments) and sorry that you had to explain yourself. I hope this all goes away and the happy smiles and beautiful faces of your children splash the site very soon! Happy Days!

  44. I am just catching up on blogging because my two little ones have been sick -- the Ped. Dr wanted us to go to the hospital and we refused -- I knew we were doing the right things and we took a lot of criticism BUT they are well now and did not have to go through the many things that you described, I know it would have been much worse if we had gone to the hospital.

    I too provided the care my children needed and would never deny or hurt them --- but sometimes mom knows best!!!

  45. omg, are you SERIOUS!?! People said that??? My god.... what the heck?!


  46. I am a nurse too and a mom. I too have had one with RSV and went through the same thing. I see it from the side of the people who wrote to you with their concerns about your wording - but I can see it from your side as well. This is your blog and you should be able to vent - you have several children all going in different directions and one that is very ill, being tired and frustrated makes this worse - it was a bad experience for you, not that the reasons and people you encountered were bad.
    Most people vent - but still realize the importance of everything that happened and are appreciative - don't sweat a few comments - I really didn't see them as too bad, just trying to help with an explaination. I am glad things turned out well for you guys.

  47. `Gosh, I think we all have something to learn from the other side. Just this last week I was in the ER with my daughter and the doctor made me feel like I was the worst parent ever. Then I have had encounters with doctors that were so wise and I couldn't have cared for my girls without them. Wonderful nurses that I swear were angels, and nurses that weren't so angelic. But there has to be something said for a mother who has her babies best interests at heart. Sometimes doctors don't understand the burning fear, worry and pain we feel for our children when something is wrong with them.

    Brittany was just expressing her feelings of what she went through and instead of using it as a learning experience, some people got heated.

    Sad that some people found this totally cool mom's blog the forum for a medical discussion.



Thank you for blessing me with your words!