Not Me!



... it's been 2 months and I'm STILL not back to me.

I'm behind in just about everything... dishes, laundry, cooking, reviews, pictures, taking care of my kids... like I said EVERYTHING!

I don't feel like i'm unable... I'm just not me! I'm not taking my vitamins or taking many pictures {which is HUGE for me}. I'm not wearing jewlery and can't fit into anything but yoga pants and tank tops. When I have a free moment I feel like I just wonder around not knowing WHAT I should do. I feel uncreative and just blah!

So........ ME!!!!! PLEASE COME BACK!!!! We ALL miss you oh so much... the fun, the laughs, the book reading, the food, the pictures, oh my! Come out come out wherever you are... it's ABOUT TIME!

{Gavin apparently took this picture of me after tucking them in bed the other night... lovin' the striped pants!}

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who's who contest coming tomorrow! {grin}

18 comments:

  1. Aww, hang in there Brittany! It is totally understandable to be feeling not quite yourself. Consider all the energy going into taking care of others--even if you feel it isn't done in quite the way you would want in an ideal world--and then cut yourself some slack. ;) I'm sure you'll get there!

    Heck, we only have one, and I remember feeling similarly in his early months. =) Hopefully you'll start feeling more like yourself soon.

    The picture is too cute, especially hearing that Gavin took it!

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  2. Awww girl give yourself some time. You will return in due time...but for now lower your expectations to less than "perfect" and allow yourself to heal...in ALL ways! I remember and know what you're feeling..and then all of a sudden one day...it clicks! And there you are! At least that is how it has happened for me all times!

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  3. In some ways, having twins was so much harder than I'd anticipated because those first 4 months especially just suck you dry. You'll get through it though! :) HUGS!

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  4. Sounds like you are in a little bit of a funk, which I think is totally normal and to be expected. Life is stressful and it takes time to adapt to new things and circumstances.

    The best remedy I have found is taking walks whenever possible (my second was born in December and I still got out there in the freezing cold and pushed the stroller just to get fresh air and physically move).

    Another good thing is humor and laughter, whether it is watching a funny movie or finding reasons to laugh out loud at your kids antics. It really does help.

    But realistically it will be a matter of sufficient time passing until you find and establish a new sense of YOU, the inspirational mother of 6!

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  5. I remember being soooo tired for the first 5 months or so....he just walked around in a haze....it's hard to do, I cannot imagine having 4 others(5 if you count the hubby) to take care of also...plus if you nurse that really takes everything anyway!

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  6. You have a lot on your plate so to speak. I know it was hard for me to get back to normal and I only had 1 child at home when my baby was born. It takes time to get into the swing of things. Don't rush yourself. Try to do something just for you each day. Even if it's a small thing.

    Hugs!
    Sarah

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  7. After my second baby I was in quite a funk for a good while - very much like you described, and that was after 1. I can't imagine the physical and emotional strain of having 5&6 at the same time. I wish I had some sage advice or words of comfort or wisdom for you...all I can say is hang in there, things will get better.

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  8. I love your honesty Brittany. Funks are no fun, but they are temporary. If we didn't have valleys we couldn't enjoy the view from the mountain top as much right? :)

    I have been meaning to write back about my feelings on weaning. I alluded to it a bit in my not me post (about taking a breastpump to the BWCA), but I wanted to answer you directly to say that YES, I am sad. She's my last baby and I wanted her to stay that way as long as possible. I really could care less about being able to drink. It's been so long since I could, it doesn't bother me.

    It IS nice that when it's naptime I can get away with a giving her a hug, a kiss, a book, and a paci and she's on her own within 20 sec. I remember when Sam was like that when I weaned him at 13 months.

    You are in my thoughts in prayers my friend.


    LOVE the pic of the boys. :)

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  9. For me--with our first and second--it took about 7-8 weeks to get my footing back.

    With the twins--hubs and I were just talking about this tonight--it took until the 4 month mark.

    That's when I felt like I could have a plan instead of flying by the seat of my pants. Phew. I'm not a fan of the unknown.

    But, by the looks of it, girl, you'll be there WAY before I got there. Look at what a pro mama you are!

    Tiff

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  10. I can't imagine what you've gone through...I've never had one (or two or six) little one(s)! Plus the accident to boot; wow, my dear, you've had a full plate lately. God won't give you more than you can handle. You've been blessed beyond measure. Take it in stride. And keep looking to HIM, the giver of all good things, for strength.

    l e a h

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  11. p.s. I totally forgot to tell you how much I love the pic that Gavin took! Your stripey pants are cute, and I love the boys' room!

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  12. I know!! I am not me either yet and I only had one so I can imagine that having 2 at a time makes it take even longer to feel normal again! Everyone says to give yourself a break and you'll get there, but it is SOOOOOO hard! Put on some earrings and have a laundry folding party with your boys. Maybe that will help??

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  13. That's just kind of how it goes after having a baby (or babies!) isn't it?
    Plus the accident on top of that...

    I always remember feeling more like myself and like things were getting manageable by the time the babe reached 4 months. With each one for some reason that was the turn around point!

    Of course I go back into days even now, TODAY, were I just feel like, well, like what you described above!

    Hope you're feeling like your full self SOON and very SOON!

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  14. I have not commented in a while, but I just had to share this... as I majorly struggled after the birth of my secondborn. Here are the posts regarding the whole "not me" thing that I went through:

    http://worthwalkingtoward.blogspot.com/2008/06/true-confessions.html

    http://worthwalkingtoward.blogspot.com/2008/08/coming-out-of-fog.html

    Although I am sure my experience is very different from yours, don't be too hard on yourself. You are hormonal. You are having a HUGE transition. 2. TWO!!!!! on top of four BOYS!! Girl. I am "not me" just thinking about it....

    It will pass, and I pray that it passes quickly. Hang in there!

    Darlene

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  15. I've seen you...you're in there somewhere...

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  16. Well, perhaps you should consider the prospect and/or treatment for Post-Partum Depression.

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  17. I found after having baby number four that I felt like it took me a good wjile to learn how to have four children....it was hard...

    I know this time I will be the same with the twins...and I can only imagine you are on a 'learning curve' too....

    be kind to yourself...

    you're there.

    Somewhere....

    being pregnant means giving over your body and then having babies is more of the same....you don;t get "you" back for a long time....ride the roller coaster and try to enjoy the time you are on it....

    and then tell me the same thing when I am a little lost too...ok??

    Susan :):)

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  18. good luck finding you... but you might want to keep your eye out for the new you... after all, now you have girls so you might not be the same me :)

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Thank you for blessing me with your words!

Brittany